For the First Time

This is a song that I wrote several months ago and as soon as I finished I kind of dismissed it. But recently when working on the Ready or Not album with Regan, we tried bringing it back and I really like the new sound. It's basically about those rough times that we go through and how vital it is to go to others that have dealt with similar things. With such an expanded body of friends, there is always experience out there to go to and learn how to deal with those things better. All I know is where I've been not where to go.


For the First Time
These broken eyes
Seem to see
The empty lies
I tell to me

What you have gotten through, holds true to me now

    You've seen this before
    Yeah, you've been through this door
    But I am here for the first time

    And all that I know
    Is where I've been not where to go
    Cause I am here for the first time

Wisdom goes
Further than I see
And the Lord knows
That I am weak

What you have gotten through, holds true to me now

Oh just to see a smile
On a face that's seen this day
Oh yeah and I can see the miles
But I know I'll be carried through the gray

I Wrote You

Even the best father on this world doesn't compare to The Heavenly Father.


I Wrote You

A love song seems so far away
But I am here
Daughter of mine you need not sway
Cause I am here

    I wrote you
    I wrote you
    I wrote you
    Cause I love you

Do not fear this hand
For it is mine
Don't run towards the world's demands
Cause you are mine

At Least I Should

Sometimes, life gets hard. Let's be honest, sometimes life sucks. My head plays a picture that is not what my eyes end up seeing. I built up this image, this vision of how I wanted things to end up and mentally penciled it in my plan. Obviously, my plan didn't work. What I wanted to happen didn't and what I didn't want did. I think that is something that we all go through. Then how encouraging are the words of Romans 8:28? God works it out for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. That's so hard for me to get sometimes though! It all works out for the good even when I don't see it. There's kind of this dichotomy knowing the truth but not always getting it. And my prayer now is to not doubt but trust.


At Least I Should

Pain sings me a song
Of what went wrong
And it's stuck in my head

Dreams don't cease to dwell
They know all too well
The ground that I tread

    And I know that it works out
    All for the good
    All for the good

    And I know there's no need for doubt
    Or at least I should
    At least I should

Breath flees from my chest
Bird from the nest
With no solid ground

Words, words hit the floor
Forgetting their soar
But don't land with a sound

 The stars fade behind you
 And I fade behind you

Love, Be Not Still

I originally started writing this song in Northern Ireland when I took a little time for some reflection and walked to the shore on this beautiful spot. It was so bright and sunny with a gentle breeze. During the trip I was just thinking about love and where it comes from to where it goes. How amazing is it that there is a God who pours out a love that flows into us? But that's not where it ends! His love comes into us that we can share it and spread it. Let HIS love fill me up so much that it comes pouring out of me! I just envision this waterfall/rapids/river/whirlpool of love raining down that doesn't know how to sit still but shoots out to everything nearby that receives it. Don't let your love be still! I want to be a kitchen strainer that rests underneath the endlessly pouring fountain and doesn't hold it but lets it come out in all directions. I'm probably mixing the metaphor somehow now but it's something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. AND IT'S SO EXCITING!!! The love that comes from HIM! We have access to it and we can share it! How beautiful a relationship is that??


Love, Be Not Still

Love, be not still
Let the cup be over filled
Spread oh fire, so wild
Love, be not still

Singing, Grace, come fill the skies
Oh what mercy beheld by these eyes
Where death finds its demise
Grace, come fill the skies

Life, with endless days
is the blood within these veins
I was once dead until
Life, with endless days

Oh death, where's your sting?
When the trumpet voices sing
Arms up in victory
Death, where's your sting?

And Love, be not still
Let it carry you up the hill
Not by my strength but His
Love, be not still

 Taken by awesome photographer Gabby Huerta later by the spot where

I got the idea for this song.

From This Place

This is the song I decided to name the blog from. I feel like it is very important in meaning and I really enjoy playing it. It is a progression of describing my state in weakness and builds into the strength that isn't mine. I think it is something that can be applied to many places in life. From this place. This place of frailty and inability that is my own doing. But I don't stay there. You take me from this place.


From This Place

I've built
These walls
But they all just came down
For all to see

The light
Revealed
What had been here
From the beginning

With a tongue
Concealed
Behind a white fence
And no words take hue

These eyes
Were hidden
Behind the blinds but
You saw straight through

I can't
Stand up
On my own
I need
Your strength
Cause you broke
To the heart
That no one else could
And took me from this place.

Searchlight

Finally! The new songs! You probably haven't heard this one. I finished this one at the end of last semester. I kind of wrote this about a specific lifestyle and its emptiness. Sometimes people say that they are looking for answers but they don't even actually try. What good are your eyes if you don't see light?

Vision blurs at the edge
Becoming a vignette
Smoke stains the air
From a fearless cigarette

Knowledge free from desire
That settles on the dusty floor
Tread on by apathy
Unaware of more

    You've been searching but you haven't found
    The problem is your own eyes
    That don't see the searchlight

You're still waiting on
The windows to fling wide
You don't even know
The joy that is outside


  It's all slowing down now
  Your feet left the ground now
  Just to see it
  coming at your face




[No video yet, hopefully I can post it when I make it!]

Every Time I Fall

I wrote this freshman year when I went to the music practice rooms to do some recording for my "cd". But when I got there and hit the record button, every one else decided to start practicing their own instruments. While I would like to eventually have other instruments added to these songs, I don't think random trumpet notes and opera singers would really be a great addition. So I decided to just work on a song but I didn't expect to come up with anything. After awhile this one just started to form itself and suddenly it was done within maybe an hour. I think that this song is helpful in understanding sin and its repetition. Every time, you think that it won't happen again and you'll be able to get past it but soon enough fall back into it. My favorite part of the lyrics is the bridge "It's so good to know that I'm not good enough". I'm not good enough. It's not about being good enough. It's about knowing the one who is.

Every Time I Fall

There goes the sun
And taking another day
I didn't want
things to stay the same

Faulty eyes
Look past complacency
All the lies
Holding on to my feet

    Every time I fall I find grace
    But don't let me forget all of my mistakes

A lesson learned
And a song to sing as well
Of a broken man
That never leaves the place he fell

A pattern locked
In the mindset of a fool
Tomorrow brings
A brand new slate to mark

    Every time I fall I find grace
    But don't let me forget all of my mistakes

        I can't save myself

        It's so good to know
        That I'm not good enough

In Need of You

Okay! Finally starting to get into the more recent songs! I've been catching up these last few weeks. I wrote this one around first semester of my freshman year.

Lord, cast me down with my pride, with my pride
I thought I could sail on it, but the wind just died

How does this unholy self look in perfect eyes?

    Cause I'm in that place
    Where all I see is me
    In need of you

    Partaker of grace
    Down on my knees
    In need of you
    In need of you

I'm just a fool chasing fallacies
But the truth has been standing next to me

How does this unholy self look in perfect eyes?


Skip to the second song for In Need of You

Hollow

I wrote this about three years ago and even though the song doesn't really go with the newer songs musically, its meaning still resonates with me. Jesus fills the hollow heart.

Hollow

This is my heart
The one the breeze blows through
The cold wind sets in again
This love is filled with empty space
Please come to me now

I’m all but found when I am here
Yet I know exactly where I am
So now I look up to the hills
Where can I look but to you now?
You’re all I can see

            This is my heart
            I give it to you now
            The walls are broken down
            And you are all that remains
            I am found

The sun beats softly on my face
The wind tells me where to go
I’m dead and buried in my sin
So now I call to you again
Please come to me now

Half the Way Here

This is an old song I wrote one night about a friend.

The ground seems so close
Just yesterday things were better
The day light's shadow brings new thought
To what was said before

   Why can't you just see?
   Just turn around and be right here
   Surrounded by the calls
   Ringing unanswered because you are here
   But you're only half the way here

The hours are shorter
Especially this one
It all just happened so fast
You changed from what I thought you were

Son is Your Centerpiece

This song is at least two or three years. We were driving back from our missions trip in New Orleans and doing individual devotions. The sky outside was one of the best I have seen in my life so I grabbed my notebook and just wrote it out like it had already been written before and I was just remembering it.

The morning sky takes me captive
To what the past skies have placed
The beauty that can’t be matched
Has now been displayed

Part the clouds
Take me in your arms
Bring me to your face
Where you shine above the sun,
You shine above the sun

    And your radiance flies forth from captivating clouds
    The son is your centerpiece, the son is your center piece [x2]

And now I see on the horizon
All the things that I have done
But you just cast them all away
And you take me to the skies


It’s the anthem of the angels
Open up the skies
And let the one who loves and shines flood out

Ready or Not

College was a big step last year and I didn't have a lot of people I called friends in the beginning of the semester so I really missed the friendships that I had at home. There's something about the people that you have grown up with that goes beyond the shared experiences and inside jokes. My friends from then can read me like a book although it's probably not too difficult considering my heart beats outside my chest. But they can understand.

Ready or Not

We're coming to a new step
Whether ready or not
Things have got to change, dear
Whether ready or not

   So know you'll never leave
   My memories
   So take this melody
   With you

Strength seems to follow you
Wherever you go
Let Him be all of you
Let it overflow

We're coming to a new step
Whether ready or not
Things have got to change, dear
Whether ready or not

Ready or not
Ready or not
Ready or not
Ready or not...

Ocean Over Head

Well, I still have a lot of songs to catch up with so I'm just going to keep posting my old ones. I don't even remember how long ago I wrote Ocean Over Head but it is a really fun song to play especially with the band. It is short and reflects a lot of my early writing of salvation. I think that the song is generally negatively focused and short of the redemptive qualities of reality and rescue. But sometimes that is just how we feel.

Ocean Over Head

Here comes the storm
to drag me down

Pulling me away from the shores

I'm drifting away, I'm drifting away

            Oh the ocean is flying over my head

            Flying over my head [x2]

The darkness rolls in

the sun gives way

My soul cries out to be saved

I'm calling out, I'm calling out

Ocean Over Head is the second song in the video:)

That Made it All This Way

Over the summer I was remembering an old friendship of mine from last year that didn't end well and I still don't really know why. I guess this was just venting about it!

That Made it All This Way
It's like I always say
I'm just a fool full of mistakes
But I've been looking back
And I can't find the steps to retrace

    Good intentions were never gone
    Tell me what did I do so wrong
    That made it all this way

Conclusion
That seems to lack  any solution
Feet tied to all
that is left undone

Apparently
Apology
Can never be enough

I remember how it all began
But I don't know why this made it stop

    Good intentions were never gone
    Tell me what did I do so wrong
    That made it all this way

 

What to Say

Another song about my inadequacies. This time it's about not knowing how to deal with a situation and praying and asking for the right words. I've found these words to be applicable many times since then. Especially the first two lines. I am not as wise as I wish I was. I'm working on it! But I'm not there and probably never will be. But I can pray for the right motives and words. Daniel 2:20-21 says "Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding"

What to Say
I'm not as wise as I wish I was
Otherwise I wouldn't be here
Understanding starts to sway
Thinking about what I'm gonna say
Thinking about what I'm gonna say

The dim lit wall paints the scenes
Of conversations crawling through my head
What was clear, falls to gray
Thinking about what I'm gonna say
Thinking about what I'm gonna say

Under the veil, these motives try to find themselves
And I know I fail but let your words bring truth
Cause I know that I cannot do this on my own

Give me the words
Give me the words
I can't do this alone

Thinking about what I'm gonna say
Thinking about what I'm gonna say
Praying about what I'm gonna say

The Shore

Well, I guess I haven't really posted anything on here for quite some time. So I'm going to try starting back up again! I need to keep my two or three readers happy, you know? I changed the blog title to From This Place which is a song that I wrote recently which I felt is a better description of myself and whoever reads this. But I'll post that later, I have a lot of old songs that aren't on here yet either! So here is The Shore. Probably one of the more catchy songs because somehow it ends up stuck in people's heads. I think that's a good thing? I was going to link a video of it but I don't actually have one so maybe later I will add it..
This song is basically about a friend who is going through a really hard time and for whatever reason, you can't talk to them or get through to them. I think the metaphor is pretty straightforward;)


The Shore
There's nothing but waves all around you
The sun and its rays are far from your view
I wish I was there to get you through
To get you through

But I'm on the shore
I'm on the shore
I'm on the shore
I'm on the shore

And I know that you try to hold close to this ship
But strength starts to fade and you lose your grip
Call out to the one who made waters still
Made waters still

The waves are coming o're the ship you try to steer
The wind is pushing you aside
You're going down
 So call out